I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
