Buhtt sex?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
as a side note pls kill me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
