well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
