apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
