She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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