Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
