So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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