I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We left the knife in your bed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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