You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
