Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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