how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
