you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
