she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
