dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
