This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
