My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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