just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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