im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
