Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
