I must be too annoying 4 u.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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