I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
