i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
