ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
