Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
