are you so shy because you have an std?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
