You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
