i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
