Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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