I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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