Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
