omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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