we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
