I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
