We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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