i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
