i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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