At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
