I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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