Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
