im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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