Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
