3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
