I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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