I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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