i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
