i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
