kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
