Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
