There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
