I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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